Picture 7

Acerbic Weight Loss Surgery Rule Breakers Society Of America Unite.

The vlogger, Sally, may have given me six or seven words to take to the dictionary.   I honed in on acerbic, probably because I understood it to mean "sarcastic."  Sally, you have lots of words.  Thanks for this blog-starter.  I may rant, but it's not toward YOU.


  1. Sour or bitter
  2. Sarcastic or cynical
  3. Sharptempered

Yes.  I can be acerbic.

But am I a rule breaker?  You betcha.  What is the sense in lying about it?  That's why I posted the video.  I am a Rule Breaker.  I am a Bad Girl.  I am a shirt-carrying, CLICK-drinking, gum chewing (please to buy yours, I must make the new order) founder of the Bariatric Bad Girls Club.

Picture 7 Every one of us goes through some versions of cycles of rule following, rule apathy, outright rule destruction or anti-rule anarchy and maybe even complete rule denial.  

I would suggest that MOST of us START as RULE FOLLOWERS 100%.  I was.  "I will do EVERYTHING right!  I will lose 100% of my weight, for-ever!  Fat is bad!  Thin is good!  Amen!"  Those hardcore ideas BLEW UP in my face.  There's no such thing as perfect, there's no such thing as forever.  Life happens, deal with it, thanks.  For me, it was pregnancy.  You simply cannot mesh the idea of continued massive weight loss with FETAL GROWTH.  The baby was MORE important than the size of my ass.

I believe that post weight loss surgery life and long term success depends on the mindset of the patient to not revert to pre-op behaviors.  Those behaviors slip back in very easily once we allow them to.  

I suppose this is what happens as you mature with weight loss surgery — you cannot live as a surgically altered freak forever.  (Thanks, BTV.)  As much as we are forced to change at the START, weight loss surgery should really be about becoming eventually some kind of normal, right?  Maybe just a little?  (Hush.  I know.  I will never be normal, fat or not fat.)

So, I am a rule breaker, along with countless others in the community.  What does that REALLY mean?  And, who's making the rules?  Each surgical procedure has similar basic guidelines, we aren't that far off each other.  (Except DS'ers because they are way cooler than us.  Surgery wars, begin.)

…That I eat more calories than someone else?  How is that a problem?   My body maintains on about 1400-2000 calories a day.  That makes me…. normal.  I'm not typically stuffing pastries/chips/etc… (ever) or wine/liquid calories… (hardly) down my gullet, so what is the issue?  That I use a straw?  Eat too fast?  Masticate badly?  Admit to enjoying very good chocolate?  Drink coffee?  Not weighing, measuring?  Not calorie counting?  Not fat counting?   Not wait a half hour to sip a sip of liquid after a meal to wash out my mouth?  Sometimes live on cheese?  Eat 6 times a day?   Eat to avoid hypoglycemia?  Eat past 7 pm?  11pm?  In the middle of the night?    Drink Diet Soda sometimes?   Eat half a sandwich?  Eat fast-food sometimes?  Chew gum?  Choose not to use an elliptical, no gym membership, not walk my dog who drags me down the road?  Eat celery, coconut?  No water loading pre meals? 

What about all that I/we do that is RIGHT?  What about being rule-apathetic because many of the rules are silly and have no real basis in facts?  What about being at a normal body weight for years? What about making good choices every single day?   Because I do, we do.  Not all of us rule-breakers are sitting around eating junk food and drinking soda.  I know that's the inference, but it's not everyone.  

I don't even like cake.  ;)

84-rule_breaker Over long periods of time as a post op, we can "forget" our surgery.  Those who have "forgotten" their surgery or who have had a difficult time with regain or complications are often shunned by whomever is the most "so called successful" in weight loss surgery community, which causes:  COMPLETE DENIAL and HIDING.  

There is no shame for me.  No rule is worth hiding over.  

We are all successful in our own ways, and we can all be successful repeatedly.  Morbid obesity is a <hate this term> "disease" </end hate> that is LIFE LONG.  

We did not GET to be morbidly obese without breaking ALL of the rules of normalcy at some point.  

Normal people don't typically follow many rules either, or point out the flaws in their normal peers.

Are you a rule breaker?





From the DUH Files: Study -Gastric bypass weight-loss surgery increases risk of alcoholism


Click to enlarge – from Recovery Roadmap


Post weight loss surgery, many people are fighting with already addictive behaviors.  Be. careful.

LA Times

Gastric bypass surgery for weight loss doubles the risk of developing alcoholism compared with Lap-Band surgery, Swedish researchers reported Monday. Researchers already knew that bypass surgery allows the body to absorb alcohol quicker, but the new findings, reported at the Digestive Diseases Week meeting in Chicago, are the first to suggest an increased risk of problems associated with the effect.

Dr. Magdalena Plecka Ostlund of the Karolinska Institutet in Stockholm and her colleagues examined medical records for 12,277 patients who underwent bariatric surgery in Sweden between 1980 and 2006. The patients had a mean age of just under 40 and three-quarters of them were female. The team compared them with 122,770 carefully matched healthy controls in the general population. Prior to their surgery, the obese patients were significantly more likely than those in the general population to be treated for psychosis, depression, attempted suicide and alcoholism. After the surgery, the risks of the various disorders remained higher than normal, with the exception of psychosis, Ostlund said.

After the surgery, however, the risk of developing alcoholism among the patients who underwent Roux-en-Y surgery, commonly known as gastric bypass, was 2.3 times higher than in the group who underwent Lap-Band surgery. The Roux-en-Y procedure creates a smaller stomach pouch and bypasses part of the intestines. The Lap-Band procedure, in contrast, involves placing an inflatable silicon band around the stomach to restrict food intake, but food continues to pass through the entire stomach.

Dr. John Morton, a bariatric surgeon at the Stanford School of Medicine, noted that alcohol is normally at least partially metabolized in the stomach by enzymes there. When a patient has a gastric bypass, this digestion does not occur and the alcohol reaches the intestines largely intact. The finger-like structures called villi on the interior surface of the intestines absorb alcohol extremely well, so that the drug reaches high concentrations in the blood more quickly. "A single glass of red wine can make a bypass patient legally intoxicated regardless of weight loss," Morton said.

Researchers are not sure, however, how that increased absorption may increase the risk of alcoholism. Nonetheless, patients undergoing the surgery should be counseled to limit their consumption of alcohol. "They shouldn't drink as much and they shouldn't drink and drive afterwards," Morton said.


Maybe it’s because I’m special, but I don’t get it.


Maybe it's because I'm special.  Or in pain.  Or just not understanding because maybe I am in a different head space.  I am voting that I again, am not normal.

I'm watching online conversations about "food addictions" and  "binge eating" after weight loss surgery and I am awfully confused.  

For example — a post WLS patient describes herself as a binge-eater, going through the steps of sobering up or breaking this addiction. 

Eating disorders happen after weight loss surgery, I know it can be a serious complicating issue.  I have several online friends who DO have diagnosed eating disorders post weight loss surgery, and a few that are definitely suspect, and who don't know they suffer.  It happens, it's reality.  So be it.   

I do not discount her experience.

However, what she describes, doesn't sound so dire.  

It doesn't sound anything at all like what my friends have suffered at the hands of their eating disorders.  At all.  

Again, I realize symptoms differ from person to person, and can be entirely different for each person suffering.  Unless there are major factors that she's not discussing, I am concerned that the behavior she is trying "break-free" from is quite normal, well, very normal… within the realm of a weight loss surgery patient.   In fact, they sound quite normal for lots of people who might absent-mindedly "go-to" food as a coping mechanism.   But, all out ADDICTION?

But, my sense of normal is obviously off the charts, I drink 1.5 pots of coffee per day and break half of the "Rules Of The Pouch."  That probably makes me certifiably insane by some of your post WLS standards.  Lock me away.  Just allow me coffee and cheese.

Why do I care?   Because many of us are reading about these issues — and wondering —  no, I know they're wondering, because I'm getting the emails —

"WAIT A MINUTE, I DO THAT.  I didn't know it was WRONG!  What, do I have an eating disorder too?  Do I need treatment?  OMG.  Somebody tell me if I am okay?"  

And, to be honest, this reminds me alot of that scary window salesman who pushed Overeaters Anonymous on myself and my husband when I mentioned that we had weight loss surgery –

"You must admit that you have no power over food."


We're doing alright, WHY THE HELL are you scaring the newly UNFAT?  SHOO!  GET. OUT. OF. MY. HOUSE.

Get your God out of my crackers!  I happen to ENJOY eating.   Just, in Very Small Amounts!  I'm not going to hide my crackers, don't TAKE THEM FROM ME.  You do not want to mess with a hypoglycemic's snacks.

Binge eating, as described by the Weight Control Network:

Most of us overeat from time to time, and some of us often feel we have eaten more than we should have. Eating a lot of food does not necessarily mean that you have binge eating disorder. Experts generally agree that most people with serious binge eating problems often eat an unusually large amount of food and feel their eating is out of control. 

People with binge eating disorder also may:

  • Eat much more quickly than usual during binge episodes.
  • Eat until they are uncomfortably full.
  • Eat large amounts of food even when they are not really hungry.
  • Eat alone because they are embarrassed about the amount of food they eat.
  • Feel disgusted, depressed, or guilty after overeating.

It's pretty easy for anyone to slide into those categories, especially if we qualified for weight loss surgery.  You could probably qualify for many of these as a pre-op, and you didn't even think about it.  Many WLS patients were compulsive overeaters prior to surgery, and the surgery only partially helps.

I suppose the difference is — post surgery — DOING SO CAN CAUSE DISTRESS.  Over-eating can physically cause PAIN, discomfort, dumping, nausea or any number of things.  That's a big impetus for many post ops to quit overeating to begin with — to avoid the pain.  They aren't thinking about the emotional causes, triggers, to overeating, they just don't want to throw up.

We're not really thinking about being POWERLESS, we are thinking, "Holy shit, I don't want to break my pouch!"

I knew going in to roux en y surgery that overeating or eating the inappropriate foods would cause a physical reaction, and would put me in time out for being "bad."  That was part of my reasoning for choosing roux en y surgery, I wanted to know that I would PAY DEARLY for messing with Ben + Jerry.  

And, I do.  Pay Dearly.  Not, mess around with Ben + Jerry.  I have other vices.  Hello, caffeine!  But, on that thread, do I think I require 12 Steps Away From Coffee?  Maybe two.  One – STOP.  But, you know what TWO is?  MEDICATE.  There's always something else.  

I guess what I am trying to say is — if we qualified for weight loss surgery, we sort of went in to this game with an eating problem, no?  It shouldn't come as a big surprise that later on — "How did that stack of crackers disappear?"  Oh.  That was me.  Uh.  Sorry.  The crackers aren't holding Supreme Power! over me.  I'm stupid and I eat them.  I'm not saying YOU are, I am saying I AM.

We are aware that we have a problem when we go under the knife, that's why we're doing it, to "gain control," because we failed every other method.  (Or at least we pretended we did to get insurance coverage.)

But — this?   Perhaps before weight loss surgery, but do you still do this now?

Compulsive Overeating/Binge Eating Disorder

  1. Fear of not being able to control eating, and while eating, not being able to stop.
  2. Isolation. Fear of eating around and with others.
  3. Chronic dieting on a variety of popular diet plans.
  4. Holding the belief that life will be better if they can lose weight.
  5. Hiding food in strange places (closets, cabinets, suitcases, under the bed) to eat at a later time.
  6. Vague or secretive eating patterns.
  7. Self-defeating statements after food consumption.
  8. Blames failure in social and professional community on weight.
  9. Holding the belief that food is their only friend.
  10. Frequently out of breath after relatively light activities.
  11. Excessive sweating and shortness of breath.
  12. High blood pressure and/or cholesterol.
  13. Leg and joint pain.
  14. Weight gain.
  15. Decreased mobility due to weight gain.
  16. Loss of sexual desire or promiscuous relations.
  17. Mood swings. Depression. Fatigue.
  18. Insomnia. Poor Sleeping Habits.

I am concerned that we're not allowing ourselves to be normal, normal former morbid-obese girls, though.   Cut yourself a little…slack here.  The function of most weight loss surgeries prevents you from creating too much caloric havoc — you do have to work a little bit to break them.  (Want to learn how to gain weight with a gastric bypass?  I can teach you.  I'm totally writing an eBook.)

If we had surgery to "control" ourselves because we were out of control, and we then restrict our diets to a very limited intake to "control" ourselves, and then further "control" the situation by blowing up mostly normal post WLS food intake into sinful acts?  

We leave ourselves entirely out of control.  Nothing to eat, standing in front of the fridge recycling thoughts of what "I don't need."  Nothing like beating yourself up over a snack.  Is it worth it?

What is left to lose?   What are you going to do when you've villified all food and all food intake situations?  

If food is no longer an option — you may very well find another — "option."

Right.  It ain't knitting, honey.  (Well, for you it is.  But, you are weird.  <3)

Have you read Weighty Secrets?  Everybody done doin' something.  You just don't KNOW ABOUT IT.  

It's all too much.  

And, no, emailers, you don't appear to have an eating disorder, but if you do, so do I, and so do we all.  Let's book a whole wing someplace.  Wait, that sounds, appealing… actually.  

Picky Eating After Weight Loss Surgery — A Ramble.

My mother in law had a little WLS Support Group get-together today, she brought in a pair of dieticians to discuss nutrition and eating post surgery.  (I'd like to share their website with you — but the link is not functioning, I will get ahold of it during the week.)

Now aside from the prep and sharing of food ideas, one of the dieticians said, that there is ROOM for EVERYTHING in your diet.  It's about choices, and making room for what you NEED and fitting in a little of what you REALLY WANT.

So there.  And, I told her that I'd quote her on that.

What do you need?  Follow your post surgical diet plan.  What do you want?  Well?  How far post op are you?  What can your body handle?  What is the benefit of a certain WANT?  Will it bring nutrition to your diet?  Can you deal with just a taste of something?  Do you understand limits?

I was pleased with their food prep, of real foods with fresh ingredients, and I again thought to myself that I'd eat a whole lot better if someone else did the work. Come to ME, chop, grind, mix, blend, cook and freeze with me.  We will eat like kings all week!  (I think they actually offer that service.  And if I could afford it, I'd sign up.)

Sorry, that's my honest reaction.  I do not enjoy cooking much at all.  It's enough that I don't bother, and simply settle for another turkey sandwich.  It always seems to circle back to the fact that I can't seem to please anyone else's palate in this household. (And, that pesky epilespy patient holding a sharp knife near the stove bit.)

If I WANT a bowl of Kale Soup — I am eating it alone — for days and days.   And, then I dump it out.

Then, I have at least two boys staring at me waiting for carbs and meat, please, or meat and carbs, please.  I can't make my actual boy-child live on frozen Smart Ones Dinners, even if it pleases him so to revert to those if I can't get him to eat food with colors.   PICKY isn't even the word here. 


Mr. MM was AT this group today — he wouldn't even LOOK at the foods prepared.  No, that's a fib, he held a plate and gagged at the thought of trying one of the items.  He later ate plain crackers, while there were 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! different items to try.  He's never been one to try anything new.  I've basically bribed him into each new food choice, including COFFEE, which now is his addiction along with simple carbs.  He tells me now — seven years post op — that he used to eat nothing but cold cereal as a kid.  Thanks.  This would have been helpful to know like… four hundred years ago when I begged you to try… RICE… that wasn't "fried rice from Chinese Take Out, but only the brown kind drowned in duck sauce."  Seriously.  He ate nothing.  But, got to 370 lbs.  Now?  Same thing, smaller body.  He eats nothing out of his repetoire, unless asked to or served.

The kids tend to be like him.  Carbs, meat, plain, please.  With ketchup.  A bowl or all of it.  Please.

My girls will at least attempt foods that might be green, or red or orange or with beans or with sauces or in broth.  The boys won't touch anything that … well… touches. 

"Is there GRAVY ON THIS MEATLOAF?  Because if there is?  I can't eat it."

I guess it could be beneficial for implementing majority rules here.  Since I tend to do most of the food preparation, I could very well just MAKE what I want.  I never have.  The option for kids that don't "want it" — is usually — oatmeal or cereal.  (It doesn't work.  It's a fail.)  But, now that two kids are old enough to really just make themselves something, it's basically whatever they can scrounge up. 

But, the disgusted reactions to whole foods — really surprises me — from my kids and peers alike.

"Ick.  That's a bean.  OMG, that's a…. I can't eat that.  Get it off my plate.  Hmm, what about this hot-dog?" 

We are SO PICKY, all of us. (Maybe not YOU, but… you!)

You would think that picky would lead to skinny, no?  Why are so many obese and formerly obese people, sooooooo…. picky?

"What, a tomato/onion/sweet potato/spinach leaf?  I can only eat crackers and cheese.  What else do you have?  Eww, that's… meat, I can only drink Gladiator Smoothies from Jamba Juice.  Sorry.  That's all my stomach will handle."

I notice this issue in our WLS community — and it's HUGE!  People that simply don't like food, or trying anything, or moving beyond the known. 

I think we fall into different categories before and after our weight loss procedures.  Some people continue to be foodies, explorers and lovers of foods, while some people become very neutral and food becomes fuel only either because they've trained themselves to think that way, or they may have had a negative experience learning to eat again, but some become highly emotionally reactive to the food. 

I notice in my experience that some of the very pickiest eaters post weight loss surgery are VERY emotionally involved in the choices they make. 

I think we could have a label for damn near anything that comes in a wrapper — if it's eaten emotionally and not for hunger —

  • Ritz Crackers = Stress, nervousness…
  • Cheez-Its From The Box = Anxiety.  
  • Sweet Carbohydrates like that box of Donut Holes? = Completely overwhelming stressful day.  

Who emotionally eats … lean meat and greens?  Just a thought.  (Although, I do know some raw veggie crunchers who do it out of anxiety.)


But, when approached with new food — it's "Oh, I can't.  I need to have ___________ because everything else makes me sick/I don't like it/etc." 

These reactions … SOUND JUST LIKE A WHINY CHILD.   Thanks, kids. 

It seems like we make up reasons for not eating good food.  I do it all the time, I physically react to a lot of foods, but at the same time, I really WANT to try new foods, so I repeat the process hoping that my reactions will change.  (Hello, green salads.  We have a love/hate relationship.)  I am entirely guilty of avoidance.  I will not touch a bazillion foods because they don't sit right, smell right, feel right or taste right.   Me?  "OMG, oatmeal.  NO.  NEVER.  A banana?  Are you kidding me?"  But, I can, eat pizza.  (That was tonight.)

I am ridiculous and I know it.  But, I think a lot of us ARE.

What do you think?   Are you ridiculous with your food? 

(Forgive me if this post is a mess, I am not editing, I'm going to bed.  I'll fix it in the AM.  I just had a fleeting thought while packing up cold pizza.)


Stop dieting. Be mindful. Be full. Be compassionate.

I noticed the parking lot of a gym yesterday, overflowing with cars, so many that gym-goers were parked out into the road.  This must be January, because everyone is "working on their fitness."  Everyone has a shiny new gym membership, and they are using it like they said they would!

Resolutions ahoy!

Until, well, February.  Then, they might start procrastinating about the gym, "My bed feels too good, it can wait till the weekend."


Maybe they might start eating comfort foods, baking is nice in the winter, and then, look, red-wrapped chocolate hearts in "That Aisle" in the grocery store.   

"I swear, they just jumped in my cart, and they aren't for me.  I bought them for the boyfriend/husband/kids." 

You've dumped your "resolutions."  How's that working for you?  (Ick, Dr. Phil.)

"I had to buy the Girl Scout cookies.  I had to."

Then, you get angry at yourself.  You say that you've failed. 

"How could I do this again!?  I'm a failure!" 

You beat yourself up over your perceived failure to follow a diet plan and exercise regime and start a new cycle of self-hate.

"I can't even follow WEIGHT WATCHERS.  LOOK AT ME.  I FAILED AT THAT.  I'm fat, and I will never get it right."

<Insert 1/2 bag Valentine's candy here,  or your choice of emotional eats!>

"I'll start back to Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, 5 Day Pouch Test, Liquid Dieting, Crash Dieting, You Name It, on Monday!  I promise.  I'll do better.  I have to.  Who's with me?  Let's start on Monday!"

Add to this, the sheer GUILT tacked on, if you are a post weight loss surgery patient that is stuck in a cycle of DIETING after weight loss surgery.  When you feel that you have to diet continually after you have already had a major surgical procedure to lose your weight?  It feels sort of like, "WHAT ELSE IS IT GOING TO TAKE, huh?"

Has anyone told you yet — that dieting doesn't (typically) work?   Dieting might be what got you to morbid obesity, no?  (It certainly helped me get to 320 lbs.)  I did some of my BEST gaining post Weight Watchers stints.

What if we just… slowed down?  What if we started paying attention?  What if we were "mindful?" (Which, by the way, is a word I CRINGED AT when my nutritionist threw it out there back in 2003 during my pre-operative counseling for weight loss surgery… Thanks Margaret!) 


"Mindfulness. Self-compassion also requires taking a balanced approach to our negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated.  This equilibrated stance stems from the process of relating personal experiences to those of others who are also suffering, thus putting our own situation into a larger perspective. It also stems from the willingness to observe our negative thoughts and emotions with openness and clarity, so that they are held in mindful awareness. Mindfulness is a non-judgmental, receptive mind state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to suppress or deny them. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time.  At the same time, mindfulness requires that we not be “over-identified” with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negative reactivity."

Guess what?  It can work for you. 

When you slow down, consider what you're feeling, think about what you want, and eat what you want — you don't necessarily over do it.  I would add, allowing yourself to have what you desire is a big component of keeping yourself from failing.  Deprivation is a really good way to dig yourself into a pit, a pit that looks a lot like five days of liquid dieting and two days of complete ABANDON and SELF-HATE.

We need to be aware of what we feel, aware of what hunger is, aware of what we want, and how to fill our needs with or without food.  Also, post weight loss surgery filling our actual nutritional needs with food and learning what satiety FEELS LIKE, and that we can be full. 

Full is okay.  I repeat.  Full is OKAY.  "But….?  But?" 

No.  It's okay.  You need to be satisfied.  You cannot learn to eat, live, and be normal until you understand what it feels like to be SATIATED and CONTENT.

What is being mindful?

UMASS School of Medicine Center For Mindfulness-

  • Slow down or stop the cascade of our automatic and habitual reactions.
  • See ourselves and others more clearly.
  • Listen deeply and understand situations just as they are.
  • Be open to creativity beyond conditioning.
  • Respond effectively to complex and/or emotionally charged situations.
  • Act competently and ethically.
  • Achieve balance and resilience in our personal and professional lives.

As a gastric bypass patient, there are distinct limitations on what you can "allow –" but just a taste of something can be ENOUGH.   Food can be explored, it is part of being human.  We are still human, regardless of surgical alteration.  Three bites of Gelato (or anything…) will NEVER change that.  We are normal to desire treats.  It is perfectly okay to choose to have a serving of a treat.  You must simply think about WHY you want it.

Sometimes thinking about WHY you feel you NEED a certain food is ENOUGH.  You may realize that you don't need it because you are looking to fill another NEED.  You don't NEED that half-stack of crackers, if what you really want — is to go to sleep/cry/scream.  You must learn to READ YOUR OWN BODY.

You have to learn, compassion.   For you.  For YOURSELF. 

I was sent an article about the book, "The Self-Compassion Diet," and it intrigued me, as this is sort of how I feel about post WLS eating.  Here's part of a interview with the author –

The Morning Call

Q: Why is self-compassion important for weight loss?

A: Most weight-loss plans revolve around deprivation and neglect. You're supposed to stick to the plan no matter what. If you're starving, keep eating tiny portions. If you're exhausted, keep moving — no pain, no gain. Going on vacation? Keep counting … calories, carbs, points.

It's not very compassionate, and it's not very effective either.

What I'm saying is when you treat yourself with self-compassion, when you treat yourself like a friend or a loved one with love and kindness, you're more apt to eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full; rest when you're tired and move when you feel energized; and when you do that, you lose weight naturally.

Q: If I become more compassionate, won't that get in the way of willpower? How will I be able to stay out of the chips if I don't beat myself up a little?

A: When you rely on willpower to stick to a low-calorie diet, more often than not, you get trapped in a vicious cycle of under-eating and overindulging. Think about it: When you will yourself to eat puny portions of unappetizing diet food, isn't it only a matter of time before you're raiding the cupboard for cookies and chips?

My weight-management clients have taught me that dieters are really good at beating themselves up. They feed themselves a steady diet of self-criticism, and expect that'll somehow inspire them to lose weight once and for all. But they've got it backwards: self-criticism — calling yourself "fat," "disgusting" and other mean, nasty names — that's a recipe for emotional overeating and weight gain.

Self-compassion, on the other hand, is the missing ingredient in every diet and a simple recipe for sustainable weight loss that works!

What I'd like to add, self compassion is not self PITY.  Many dieters and post WLS patients seem to fall into this trap.


Self-compassion is also very different from self-indulgence. Many people say they are reluctant to be self-compassionate because they’re afraid they would let themselves get away with anything.  “I’m stressed out today so to be kind to myself I’ll just watch TV all day and eat a quart of ice cream.”  This, however, is self-indulgence rather than self-compassion. 

That sort of hurts , doesn't it? Because, we did it.  You do it now, don't you?

How self-compassionate are YOU?  Here's a quiz.  What can you change NOW?

Book – "The Self Compassion Diet"