Hold the Press Releases, Suz!
"I'mma do the things that I wanna do
I ain't got a thing to prove to you
I'll eat my candy with the pork and beans
Excuse my manners if I make a scene
I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like
I'm fine and dandy with the me inside
One look in the mirror and I'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot about what you think"
Well, there is mine, kids.
Hi, how are YOU?
I'm a little bit pleased this morning. I weighed in. 164 lbs. Bacon, FTW.
I don't keep accurate records, nor do I log my weight OFTEN, but this is quite indicative of my last year or so. I started where I am now. The peak was about ten pounds higher than THAT dot would even indicate. I never actually logged it, even if I wrote about it. Ouch. I died inside when I inched toward 1-9-0 lbs. I started a blog about "Regain." And, it stopped.
If I can convince Mr. MM that there won't be any holiday baking (I don't, much…) I will be well off this holiday season to continue losing. Mr.? There won't be ANY holiday baking. Nobody NEEDS your shit. KTHANX.
I am actually logged into The Daily Plate right now. I have logged, uh, one meal. It won't last.
Maybe you're all like, "OMG, she's posting about BACON, AGAIN?!" Yeah. I do post about the bacon a lot. It's my THING. I don't really eat it, so I might as well post about it. ;) If I posted about WHAT I REALLY DID EAT? You would be bored out of your gawd damn mind. "OMG, this string cheese is SFG!" Yeah, that's, fun?
With that – I give you – Aunt Jemina's Bacon Pancakes.
These are the original instructions from a 1962 magazine ad for Aunt Jemima pancake mix:
"Just about the best breakfast that ever greeted a hungry family! And it's as easy as this: Shake up Aunt Jemima batter according to package directions. Place cooked bacon strips on the griddle and pour batter over each strip. Bake 'em golden brown on both sides. Couldn't be easier – couldn't taste better! How about Aunt Jemima Bacon Strip Pancakes at your house tomorrow!"
To make it WLS Friendly? All you have to really do: is substitute the pancake mix with a low-carb mix, and use a tiny bit of sugar-free syrup. Don't you DARE put turkey bacon in here, however. Butter? That's up to you. (I say, yes.)
Eat about 3/4 serving of instant grits.
I thought I would avoid the carbohydrate coma by adding protein and fat, but, it was a big fat fail. I ate the grits with crumbled bacon bits and light butter at 11am, and had to lay down and was out of it until about 2pm.
Yes, I know better, yes, I have eaten this same food at least 5-10 times before with the same result, but I thought THIS TIME IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT! THIS TIME! BACON WOULD MAKE IT ALL BETTER! HA. My body says FUCK THE BACON, I WILL SHOW YOU!
Newbies, close your eyes: Tell me this, I can eat and ENTIRE BLOCK OF RAMEN NOODLES WITH ZERO RAMIFICATIONS? But, 1/4 cup of GRITS sends me to bed? I puffy heart love my WLS!