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A scale with no batteries.

We moved house on Halloween, and in the process, my scale lost it's batteries.  

I have avoided quite successfully, replacing the batteries to the scale.  The scale, with it's cracked plastic face, still weighs and measures quite accurately and is that what I am afraid of?  It hasn't been very long since I checked in with that scale.  And my eating hasn't changed much at all, as it never does.  I eat what doesn't kill me, and occasional OH MY GOD I MIGHT DIE BECAUSE I ATE THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE WARNED ME foods.  I have been one of the most boring-est eaters since weight loss surgery you might ever know.  

What I do know is that I am in need of clothes, it's nearly winter and I was wearing maternity clothes in a bigger size last year, and I have nothing right now that fits me appropriately and I really did not want to start this season in my kids' hand me downs.  I am in that NO YOU CAN'T GAIN ANYMORE range, I know it.  I don't need a scale to tell me that I can hold up a pair of size 14 jeans on my regain butt. 

Then again, I'm also okay at this size, because it's also where I land every time I just simply eat what I feel like having without drama. Does that make any sense to you?  I feel like if I just added exercise to my current-state-of-toast-and-protein, I would trickle back to my tighter self.  Honestly, it's the lack of Doing, not the Poor Eating.  I am a decent, not super, decent, better than many, eater.  A few days a week of moving my ass would really do the trick.

Could someone just sell that as an edible product  – motivation?  Because I don't have it.  Aside from running a 13 month old up and down stairs, it's just not happening.  All the advice in the world, I'll find excuses.  

off to find some batteries and weigh-in

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At least someone’s eating right

Cows eat grass.  Babies eat grass.  It’s good for, fiber, right?  Fiber in, uh, this form, hurts my old cranky gastric bypass belly.  I get (excuses) bezoars (/excuses) and I eat toast instead.  I’m not suggesting that one goes and eats grass, but some things I see Dieters Eat isn’t much different than what this baby got in during his outside play yesterday.  😡  You don’t have to tell me to worry about “your baby eating gross that’s so gross do you know what might be in there?!”  Yes.  He’s baby number five.  A lot worse will be eaten.  Salad, anyone?

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HEYYYYY #RosieO’Donnell The View – Lap band is “antiquated” Band Bashing and Hating

Via – The View & Rosie.com

  • Chris Christie in the news: The New Jersey Governor was recently seen at a GOP fundraiser showing off his 85 lb. weight loss from last year’s lap-band surgery. Whoopi said at first he said his weight was no one’s business. Nicollethinks if Chris Christie wants to run for President his health is everyone’s business as he has to have the stamina for the job.  Nicolle is a big fan of Chris Christie and observed that even Republicans who don’t want him to become president should “want our field to be as populated as possible, ruling people in not out.”  Rosie O didn’t think Governor Christie chose the right kind of weight loss surgery.  She said lap band is “antiquated” and in half the cases it has to be removed.  She recommended people who are interested in weight loss surgery do the research and choose what works best for them.  

Hey ROSIE – you gots a HATER. 

She thinks you WATCH HER CHANNEL. Check it. She sells coaching for regainers because bands work.   Riiiiiight?  Heyyyyyy.

I don't get it.  I just. don't. get. it.  

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What do you do when your voice is gone? Plus being a bully makes your health better, no wonder you look so good.

I have many, many faults.  I know this.  

Yesterday I found myself hockey checked off of a social network for a temporary ban.  Gasp!  Shock!  Horror!  You might think I did something awful to deserve the "jailing" but it sometimes works in reverse on social networks.  When a person outs a wrong or blows the whistle — sometimes THAT PERSON — in this case me gets tossed offline for saying the word.  

My theory about this: is that Facebook is so big, so many users, that it's team of eyeballs that look-over-the-things-that-offend-the-people cannot possibly fathom the Things That Offend Each End User Of It's Free Service.  

Even when someone like me — gets a thinly veiled threat or not at all veiled — and I re-post it — I get the boot.

Hell, I could not even follow it.  All I knew is that someone posted they wanted me in the ground – there was a shovel and salt.  AND I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESERVE IT – aside from my last post.  Which is my TRUTH.  MY.  TRUTH. 

Soon, there were two dozen angry rabid post weight loss surgery patients, (some that were former members of my group, some that I did not know) jumping on a hate filled thread on Facebook — name-calling and wanting me in a hole, too.  Why?  I have the thread.  It may or may not still be going.  I don't know.  It is painful to read.  I was called a bitch, a victim, and worse.

Download For beth aka melting mama

And for attempting to stand up for myself, I am the one in the Facebook slammah.  Facebook's popo clearly can't follow the chain of events and regard my actions as the problem.  The persons whom are actually at fault are publicly posting and GLOATING about their success in getting a person bullied offline.

One is accepting cash donations.  Why?  

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So.  Here I am.  In jail.  Eating mush.  Getting violated.

Hey, I suppose I shouldn't knock it too hard, it's free delivered food, free clothes, and a place to sleep, with no kids to bother me – and do I have to pay taxes?  <g>

Might not be a bad idea.  Screw it.

I hope you feel better about yourself today.

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  • http://health.usnews.com/health-news/articles/2014/05/12/adult-health-better-for-bullies-than-their-victims-study
  • Because inflammation is an underlying factor in so many chronic diseases, the fact that people in their early 20s are already showing signs of inflammation is a warning bell, Copeland adds. Using data from the larger study, his team will scrutinize other measures of adversity, such as the stress hormone cortisol, and epigenetic changes in which environmental factors affect the way genes are activated. The scientists will also look for biomarkers of more positive methods than bullying through which kids can increase their confidence and social standing.
  • This is why SO many bullied kids are FAT.  STOP IT.

The results of the anti-Beth campaign

It is funny how people are.  When a thing happens and people say things like, "Don't worry, we will always have your back" and how you sort of know they don't mean it.  It is interesting how they will find ways to weasel out of your existence, quietly, so that you do not notice.  

One year ago I attended a weight loss related event and a thing happened.  Friends and businesses alike, sent me all kinds of messages of support:  WE HAVE YOUR BACK AND WE STAND BEHIND YOU GO DO ALL THE THINGS AS YOU ALWAYS DID!  

Edited to add – I also find it curious that these people are always willing to privately hoo-rah me – but never stand up in public after I've supported them for years and years.  I guarantee private emails will follow this.   

And then they were gone.  Crickets, guys.   This coming from the woman who had no less than 30 lbs of free PLEASEWRITEABOUTOUR protein in her house at any given moment – NADA.  I have 6,000 members in a support group and I take Walmart vitamins.  Is selling out — worth my sanity?  

Meh.

So, if you're responsible for the Anti-Beth-PR-Campaign because of what I DID on year ago?  (If you don't know, don't ask.)  GO YOU.  Be proud of what you did.  Pat yourself on the back. 

You may have noticed by the slowing-to-a-stall blogging that I lost my mojo.  It was partly due to this, and ironically enough (… and I have said this before)  I am doing "better than ever" in terms of my weight loss surgery life — which is WHAT MY BLOG IS ABOUT.  

I just ain't got time for fake people.  I got old, guys.  I got teenagers up in here and it's all drama, all the TIME, and who needs adults with drama?  No more.  No thank you.  All done.  I realized a year ago that it just wasn't worth it – and I gave up a lot of things.  I dropped 1,000 people on my Facebook feed and just let go.  I rarely see anything anymore and it is calm.  I tell people it's puppies, babies, puppies and occasional food.

The only problem with this is — when you no longer are a part of the drama — you don't get invited to the stuff.   Apparently to get invited To The Things, you need to Be Dramatic.  

Well shit, go me.  And no, I'm not willing to go back.  I kind of like it quiet and calm.   

 

Please judge everything.

It's a funny thing when you post your lowest-to-date weight, instant comments happen.  I suppose I should expect it.  I watch the comments scroll on other people's blogs, pages, etc and I try to ignore them but I do wonder what the guidelines or cut offs are for making judgements on a person's shape/size.

  • "Now don't you go wasting away on us!"  (I am a nine year and two month bariatric surgery post op, I think I have this whole cyclic regain pattern pretty much DOWN to a science.)
  • "Gosh, I hope you are not going anorexic over there!"  (Wait, what?!  No, really,  WHAT?)
  • "I NEED TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU EAT EVERY SINGLE DAY."
  • "What do you eat?  600-800 calories?  Show me."
  • "OMGoodness aren't you just a little thing!" 
  • "I hope you calculated your excess skin in there!"  (Um.  It's about 5-7 lbs.  If I take Skilsaw to my arms, belly and thighs, I will be in exactly the top range of normal body weight.  I'd probably become Super Anemia Girl too.)

I don't think it matters which direction you go – there is a comment somewhere.   

And it just proves that we are SO INDIVIDUAL.  You cannot judge your path against someone else.  Please don't try.

*cue Britney Bitch* 

Why do other people feel compelled to immediately (No, seriously, THE SECOND YOU TAKE A BIG SHIT AND POST YOUR WEIGHT LOSS…) judge themselves against you?  

Oh my goodness, aren't you a crass little creature!  *unsubscribe*

I have never (in my life) seen 145 lbs.  I am a short woman, which makes 145 lbs "overweight."  May I own it for five seconds before I sabotage it?

Please do not make body comments about anyone.  Ever.  You have NO idea what kind of lasting impression it has on them.   I am stronger than most.

“The process is the goal.” 
― Geneen Roth

 

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For Many, Affordable Care Act Won’t Cover Bariatric Surgery

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For Many, Affordable Care Act Won't Cover Bariatric Surgery - via NPR

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Mr. MM newly post op

JACKSON, Miss. — Uninsured Americans who are hoping the new health insurance law will give them access to weight loss treatments are likely to be disappointed.

That's especially the case in the Deep South, where obesity rates are among the highest in the nation, and states will not require health plans sold on the new online insurance marketplaces to cover medical weight loss treatments like prescription drugs and bariatric surgery.

Dr. Erin Cummins directs the bariatric surgery department at Central Mississippi Medical Center in the state capital of Jackson. She grew up in the Delta, her husband is a cotton farmer, and although she's petite and fit, she understands well enough how Mississippians end up on her operating table.

"You have to realize in the South, everything revolves around food. Reunions, funerals, parties — everything revolves around food," Cummins says.

That long-standing food culture, as well as other factors like inactivity and poverty, have saddled Mississippi with the highest obesity rate in the nation.

Credit: Produced by Dave Anderson/Oxford American; Narrated by Debbie Elliott/NPR

Roughly 1 in 3 adult Americans is now obese. And ground zero for the nation's obesity battle is Mississippi — where 7 of 10 adults in the state are either overweight or obese. The problem is most pronounced in Holmes County — the poorest and heaviest in the state.

Doctors here are no longer surprised to see 20-somethings with diabetes, hypertension, sleep apnea, heart disease and severe joint pain. And the prevalence of severe and super-obesity is growing rapidly. For those patients, bariatric surgery is considered the most effective treatment to induce significant weight loss.

Cummins describes the procedure: "We're restricting the stomach size to where a patient isn't going to eat as much. Then we reroute the intestines a little bit and realign it to delay digestion, so to speak, to bypass it. So everything a patient eats in a gastric bypass is not going to be absorbed."

After surgery, many of the complications of obesity, like sleep apnea and high blood pressure, are reversed. Multiple studies have found that about 80 percent of diabetics can stop medication in the first year.

Medicare and about two-thirds of large employers cover bariatric surgery in the U.S. But the procedure is pricey — an average of $42,000 — and many small employers, including those in Mississippi, don't cover it.

When the Affordable Care Act became law in 2010, one goal was to erase those sorts of regional variations in access.

"Our hope was that there would be a single benefit for the entire country, and as part of that benefit there would be coverage for obesity treatment," says Dr. John Morton. He is director of bariatric surgery at Stanford University Morton, and has led national and state lobbying efforts to get insurance coverage for teh surgery.

But amid worries that a uniform set of benefits would be too expensive in some states, and sensitive to the optics of the federal government laying down one rule for all states, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services changed course. It decided instead to match benefits to the most popular small group plan sold in each state, in essence reflecting local competitive forces.

That's led to an odd twist: In more than two dozen states, obesity treatments – including intensive weight loss counseling, drugs and surgery – won't be covered in plans sold on the exchanges.

Bariatric surgery won't be covered on the exchanges in Alabama, Louisiana, Arkansas, Texas and Mississippi. That's where, according to the Centers for Disease Control, obesity rates are among the highest.

Morton applauds the growing awareness around obesity prevention in the U.S., but, he says, some 15 million Americans who are already severely obese still need medical treatment.

"If they don't have insurance, they're not going to get the therapy," Morton says. "We see cancer therapy covered routinely. We see heart disease covered routinely. Why is it that we don't see obesity coverage routinely?"

Therese Hanna, Executive Director of the Center for Mississippi Health Policy, isn't surprised that obesity treatments are excluded on the insurance exchange in her state. She says it all has to do with keeping cost down for many people who will be buying insurance for the first time.

"With the discussions around what should be covered under the exchange within the state, a lot of it had to do with balancing cost versus the coverage," says Hanna.

Hannah says Mississippians who buy insurance on the exchange will likely be the cashiers, cooks, cleaners and construction workers that make up much of the state's uninsured. And even though many of them will qualify for federal subsidies, the price of monthly premiums must be kept low.

"If you try to include everything, the cost would be so high that people wouldn't be able to afford the coverage, so you defeat the purpose," Hanna says. The discussion in Mississippi, she says has focused on providing care for things like high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease. "So we have a lot of needs to be covered other than obesity itself."

Joan Rivers on Dr. Oz

So this surprised me.

I guess I didn't know much about the woman.

I was walking on the treadmill last night – and I saw this episode of Dr. Oz.  I have blogged before about Joan Rivers and her outright disgust for obese people (!!)  I wanted to be angry at her.

And then I really listened.

Watch the above link before you rant.

Watch it.  Come back.

Now.  Are you sad for her?  Are you sad?  Because this woman is a Weighty Secret.    She has zero self-esteem.  Zero self-confidence.  Listen to some of the things she says.   

"I loved it, it was fabulous."  -Weighty Secret, Joan Rivers re: Bulimia

She is one of us, just aged and faking hateful things.  

She needs a hug.

It's Joan Rivers uncensored! She talks candidly to Dr. Oz about her husband's suicide, her struggle with bulimia and the insecurities that drove her to plastic surgery. Plus, Joan's daughter Melissa exposes her junk-food habit.