- Blogging Genuinely – Products – Swag – Freebies
I used to blog a lot and somewhere along the way I got my hand-slapped and I felt compelled to stop telling my stories. I feel like the stories are coming back, bubbling to the surface and I'm going to have to write. I am not exactly sure when I lost my 'words' but I am totally aware that I did, and I know I feel even torn posting about posting again, know this.
I saw a quote someplace that suggested that if you ever had a second thought about posting anything online – even for a second – that it probably should not go up. This made me second guess a lot of what I want to say, write, and half of what I start to post and take back.
I also feel like I need to take a step back and reassess the things I want to put out there, the direction I want for my blog, my peers, my support group and where I was going with just me, you know? I started all of this with just me, many years ago, for me. Blogging filled a need at that time.
I also, honestly feel like everyone was jumping in the blog game trying to get a slice of this thing called work-at-home-luxurious living that they seem to think people like me have (…had?) and I sort of wanted out. I had people telling me that "folks trying to be like you, Beth."
But if they were, they'd be housebound and unemployed*, be jealous, bitch can't even get a gallon of milk, and I am reminded of this ALL DAY LONG.
Somedays I feel like an ass because I have women posting things like, "You're my inspiration!" when I am over here thinking about that other woman who probably thinks "It's because she has all that free time to work on herself" when in reality my life is pretty …
…much like yours, except much more boring.
Please don't assume.
*PS. Now I remember why I began.
It's 94 degrees in my bedroom right now where I should be packing my suitcase in anticipation for my flight out to fitbloggin' 2013 tomorrow morning. However instead of packing I am playing the "until the very last minute" game because –
- It is 94 degrees in my bedroom
- And I am avoiding all things boob sweat. (I am currently sweating, sitting still.)
There is also this one thing — I weighed in at 183 pounds last summer to fall.
I now weigh 144 pounds and that is a visible size difference.
The thing is — I've been wearing the same clothing regardless of its fit — which means I probably look a mess quite often in a size 12-14 on a size 8 body. I likely rock the plumbers crack. #thumbsup
I could use some clothes that fit, but I would rather not until I know I am settled into a size that I am staying in unless I find super-inexpensive deals. I bought clothing prior to the last set of events I attended – and they're too big now.
As someone who is pretty much stuck-at-home since I do not drive due to my seizures, I don't shop much at all, and rarely shop online either. Also: with five other people in the house, you don't just SHOP for clothes, you have to consider everyone, and we have a list seven miles long of "needs, wants and like-to-haves…" and my stuff sometimes gets bumped. That's just the long way of saying I can't just run out and shop. I do not have that luxury. If I were an employed adult with a dependable weekly paycheck, who could drive myself to the mall? I suppose I might consider it more often, but I know I'd likely end up spending on the kids first because that's what parents do. School's out this week. #brainimplodes #sendababypool #sendairconditioning #help
Do you like how I am avoiding?
It is working.
I am still sitting here.
The suitcase is empty.
I will also mention that it is empty because I did not get a sponsor for this event. In the spirit of being honest: I did not try very hard to gain a sponsor. I did not ask much. I was quite disheartened after the last event I attended and sort of gave up. I promised myself that I would not attend another blog conference (…or otherwise) after paying out of pocket in full for the last one that went completely belly-up on me and my entire support group. I swore I would never do it again, until this time.
I suppose I should attempt to put some poorly fitted clothes in a suitcase now that the sun has moved a bit. (Still. trying. to. waste. time. here.)
However, I've had two good experiences with fitbloggin'. (A post from last year.)
I am off to Portland, Oregon in the wee hours tomorrow for fitbloggin' 2013 – which is my third trip to fitbloggin' – because they sort of rock. I went in 2010, 2012 and now this year. I will be live-blogging a session sponsored by #soyjoy about snacking! *shrug*
I like snacking.
Many blog-friends will also be there! Check out the list! WLS bloggers in attendance:
- http://www.beautyandthebypass.com <– Speaking!
- And more!
Watch the blogs – and
It's a funny thing when you post your lowest-to-date weight, instant comments happen. I suppose I should expect it. I watch the comments scroll on other people's blogs, pages, etc and I try to ignore them but I do wonder what the guidelines or cut offs are for making judgements on a person's shape/size.
- "Now don't you go wasting away on us!" (I am a nine year and two month bariatric surgery post op, I think I have this whole cyclic regain pattern pretty much DOWN to a science.)
- "Gosh, I hope you are not going anorexic over there!" (Wait, what?! No, really, WHAT?)
- "I NEED TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU EAT EVERY SINGLE DAY."
- "What do you eat? 600-800 calories? Show me."
- "OMGoodness aren't you just a little thing!"
- "I hope you calculated your excess skin in there!" (Um. It's about 5-7 lbs. If I take Skilsaw to my arms, belly and thighs, I will be in exactly the top range of normal body weight. I'd probably become Super Anemia Girl too.)
I don't think it matters which direction you go – there is a comment somewhere.
And it just proves that we are SO INDIVIDUAL. You cannot judge your path against someone else. Please don't try.
*cue Britney Bitch*
Why do other people feel compelled to immediately (No, seriously, THE SECOND YOU TAKE A BIG SHIT AND POST YOUR WEIGHT LOSS…) judge themselves against you?
Oh my goodness, aren't you a crass little creature! *unsubscribe*
I have never (in my life) seen 145 lbs. I am a short woman, which makes 145 lbs "overweight." May I own it for five seconds before I sabotage it?
Please do not make body comments about anyone. Ever. You have NO idea what kind of lasting impression it has on them. I am stronger than most.
“The process is the goal.”
― Geneen Roth
- Food journaling and keeping myself aware of the calories I take in. I don't journal everyday, but I DO journal.
- I stopped using soy milk, and swapped to unsweetened almond milk in my coffee and for whatever other "milk" uses I have. I don't use dairy milk at all.
- I quit my Starbucks habit pretty much altogether. I get an iced coffee or cappuccino if someone else takes ME out for coffee, but it's rare, and definitely less than once a week. Dunkin Donuts iced coffee, once a week.
- No crackers. If I must, one serving, with protein.
- No potato chips, etc.
- No candy, only super dark 70%+ chocolate if I must have something. One serving.
- No protein bars, except to review them, unless I am REPLACING A MEAL with one.
- No protein shakes, except to review them, unless I am REPLACING A MEAL with one.
- This isn't "new" – but zero alcohol in my house. It's just a rule. If it's not here, I can't have it. It's just the rule.
- If there's one thing I have learned this year – it's that I can't graze without noting. I can't just nibble all day long and expect that I won't see gains, because I do. I gain very fast on relatively low calories.
I have also learned that giving up things I can't control – stressors – outside influences – people, even – helps. I started losing the weight as soon as I made this connection.
Look at my weight loss timeline. Look at the dates.
Now look at my regain photos from the last year – same timing.
Let. it. go.
“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.” ― C. JoyBell C.
People CAN be TOXIC to your HEALTH. Let. them. go.
(*Not the ones in this photo. LOL. But, I am also 25 lbs lighter SINCE these photos and the timeline. It's a visual.)
Here's to YEAR ten. It's a big one.