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Twelve hundred

I’ve been food journaling.


Here is the damage.  

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That’s about 1500 – 1700 calories a day, with nearly everything in my apathy diet included.

I am remaining in the 170 – 173 pound spot.  Obviously, this calorie range keeps me squarely in this weight range.  (I have been here for a year and a half?)

I go from 170 to 175.  I get excited to see 1-6-9, and then, poof, right back into 170’s.  I have always shared (in my BBGC support group) that I believe in 10 – 12 calories per pound maintains my size.

Which also means, if I am EVER going to shake off this excess, I must drop back the calories OR ramp up my daily activity by at least 500 – 700 calories per day.  

HUGE APATHETIC SIGH FILLED WITH TOAST.  “BUT I DON’T WANNNNNNAAAAAA EAT LESS.”  I have become way too comfortable with over-eating.  I can eat me some 1700 calories with ease.  I can polish off a bowl of Anycarbs! like nobodies business.  Hand me Anycarbs! (…except cereal and milk, gag) and I’ll overeat it for you!  

What made me realize this?  One of my daughters decided to start looking at portions.  She pulled out the measuring cups.  And DOG KNOWS I AM A PROFESSIONAL MEASURER OF ALL THINGS NUTRITIVE and I can tell you how many calories are in all the things — but — do I bother measuring my own foods? 

Nah.  scoop scoop scoop 

When I looked at her wee bowl of pasta and realized (for the millionth time) that 1/2 cup of pasta is only > this < much?  And I have been serving myself with > this < much stomach + THIS MUCH + just because it’s there?  Thud.

Last night while watching My 600 LB Life — I noted that Dr. Now puts all the patients on a 1200 calorie diet.  It works.  What I am doing, is not working.  It’s maintaining my obesity.  What does this mean for me?  I am going to make a conscious effort to aim for 1200 calories.  I know that my aiming for that I may or may not – but it’s not a huge deal.  If I can hit it some days, I’ll make progress.  My goal is 150 pounds, so a loss of 20 pounds. To do that, I’ll need to CUT THE CARBS back.  I may need to cut out a meal or snack or three.  Add shakes in?  Maybe.  I haven’t “dieted” in so very long it’s hard to even consider?  I see lots of my online friends having great success with super low carb plans, some even KETO, but, I need something that is very flexible – even – ready to go – with no planning.  I’m just … chaotic.  But I’ll follow anything and be likely to succeed if I can get with it, you know?

Are you following any plans right now?  Do you have excess weight to lose?  

excess arm skin

That time I shamefully admit I was lazy.

excess arm skin

December 2013
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February 2014
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Current

This is that moment where I put my tail between my legs and come to you and say it — because this is what I Need To See – Proof That A Thing Works?

I have a very literal type brain.  (More on that later this year.  I promise you. My next appointment is Valentine's Day.)

Left-vs-right-brain-mix11

Figure out where Beth's seizure focus is?

I must have proof of a thing in order to believe it.  I do not blindly follow anything without seeing results, documents, charts that show me "IF YOU DO X, Y will be yours."  This is why I am a hard "sell" and you rarely see reviews here anymore.  (More on that, coming, too.)

In 2012 I was in a regain pattern and found myself hitting a high weight that I could not imagine after RNY.

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Regain, 2012

I refused to allow it although I know realistically it is possible.  I've been there before.  And knowing that I need to eat food  – I realised I needed to do something different because obviously eating as much food as I want/need to and not moving my ass was no longer working.

I added a little bit of exercise — and I saw a little bit of endurance increase.  And I struggled to keep going, and keep at it and now I finally see body results.  

The scale is in solid maintenance mode.  I see range of up 5 lbs down 5 lbs up 5 lbs down lbs every single month.  But I guarantee my muscle mass is increasing.  I will get a new assessment done at some point to ensure this — and see because I am interested in knowing the percentage of change.

This is where those people who used to scream at me to MOVE MY ASS get to say, "WE TOLD YOU SO."  I did not listen.  I was (…somewhat, but not really) lazy.  I thought I could get away with just "eating okay" and being relatively active.  

Nope.  I am proof it (…sitting on your ass) doesn't work.  



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The Great Blog Loss of 2013

I got a comment via email yesterday and I couldn't respond to it because I have no internet connectivity.  

The commenter posted that my blog sucked lately and that Why Was That and did I plan on it sucking long time?  Well, that sounds … dirty.  Is that better?  Innuendos help make a blog better long time?

I apologize.

I will tell you again (which I started to do so in the previous-but-now-deleted-post-which-abruptly-ended-and-was-posted-when-I-didn't-know-it-was-posted-because-I-had-a-seizure-mid-posting… Please excuse the previous three sentence post which is NOW GONE.) that I have been without any connection to the outside world since the Blizzard of 2013 and that's been more than a week. 

Shout out to Verizon!


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  • I have NO landline PHONE.
  • I have NO INTERNET aside from what I see scrolling on Facebook and what loads on Teh Googles when it wants to via phone cell tower.
  • I forced Mr. MM to buy a cell-phone hot-spot so I had internet access at all inside the house.  It doesn't work so well.  But, here I am.  It's worked for 300 words so far.  *hits save again*
  • I have NO cable TV, nor satellite, nor much of a DVD collection.
  • Did I mention there are four children here?  O-o
  • This IS the mini-apocalypse.  Forbid what happens when we have REAL WEATHER here.  9-10 days of power loss and communication fails for snow?  REALLY, 2013?
  • We have had ONE HALF DAY of school in the last 10 days, and now my kids on on VACATION.
  • The day after the blizzard, we had a death in the family, my kids had their first wake experience last night and funeral today.  (All is well, they did wonderfully…)
  • Are we having fun yet? 
MeNolEvEth

I can only claim the tall one. LOL.

I don't know what is going on in the world other than what I hear on NPR while cleaning my kitchen because that is where the non-internet radio IS.  

For example, during a post-wake gathering last night, my children and I surrounded a television that was on the local news.  

We saw an EXPLOSION IN THE SKY and thought the world was ending. WHAT IS THIS?!  WHAT WAS GOING ON!?  It was just the sky over Russia imploding, and very old news, but new to us. 

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 We might be losing it.  

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OMG, SHE EATS TEH FOODZ. GASP.

This morning we went out to breakfast and I post a photo of my meal on Facebook.

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I sometimes do this, often to The Greater Distress Of The Internet.  

I asked the waitress for a "Egg White Veggie Frittata" though she didn't ask me white kind of anything I wanted with it — so it just CAME with white toast.  I would have asked for extra MEAT on the side or whole grain toast.  So, this is not my normal, I don't typically do white bread.  That said, What You See Is What You Get.  I Ate Teh Foodz.  I also ate, not shown, two slices of bacon, after tossing aside the nasty-ass turkey bacon that was offered with this frittata.

The internet gets distressed when Weight Loss Surgery Patients Eat Teh Food.  The SOLIDS.  The Not A Shake.  

We hear —

  • "Did you really eat that?"
  • "Can you eat that?"
  • "Should you eat that?"
  • "Can you really eat white bread?  Eggs?  Bacon?  Vegetables?  ______?"
  • "Did you really use butter?"
  • "OMG, COFFEE?"
  • "Wait, you use CREAM?"
  • "What, no PROTEIN SHAKE?"
  • "Wait — THOSE ARE CARBS!?!"
  • "OMG TOAST?!?!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!"
  • "I thought we could not have bread?"
  • "But, I was told no TOAST?"
  • "My surgeon told me no BREAD FOR LYYYFFFFEEEE!!!!"
  • Etc, etc.. so forth, so on.  

I have been getting these comments for as long as I have been blogging my intakes on the internets.

I had one person even offer the suggestion that my epilepsy (at the time, not diagnosed…) was Due To The Fact That I Ate Carbohydrates More Than She Was Suggested.

Here's a couple of  random suggestions, y'all —

#1 – Bariatric Eating Plans Can Be DRAMATICALLY DIFFERENT FROM ONE LOCATION TO ANOTHER.

#2 – Some of us are many years post op, and food happens. Ask around, do you know many 5-8-10 year post gastric-bypass patients that subside on meal replacements?  <crickets> Right.  "Things change."  And, even though you may be TOLD that you are going to 'live on 1/4 cup of solids three times a day,' uh… that doesn't happen.  I am sorry.

I rarely share the reality of what actually goes in my gullet these days because for one — it's so boring — and because, wow, some of  Y'all Are Judgy!  You have to realize, at pushing nine years later — it's back to food!  It's normal life!

Tell me.  What are you eating?   Are you willing to SHARE?   Let's start sharing.


Oh. Yes. She. Did.

Hold the Press Releases, Suz!  


How do you go from not paying your taxes, failure to ship orders since 2011, closing your store, foreclosure, shutting down all communication to… THIS?

Bariatric Immunity Dated For Freshness

I just stumbled on a super old "what did you eat today"-type post of my own while looking for a protein bar review.  It shocks me to see how I ate at former stages of this journey.  I remember my thoughts back then, about how I thought I was eating too many calories.  Or even how random people would tell me how I was doing it wrong.

My first thought now is —

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I hate food journaling.

…with a passion.  But this morning I was poked to log in and do it.  

While today's entry appears "good" with 1100 calories and 100 grams of protein, it's not exactly typical of my recent history.  I usually end up with more calories as evidenced by the lack of weight loss around these parts.  (We are not discussing it.  I've hidden the scale for now.)  I would assume I land around 1600-1800 most of the time.

Admittedly, I lasted only a few days on the Topamax — which helps me maintain my weight while taking other anti-epileptic drugs that can cause serious HUNGRY — because it caused me to fall dead asleep in the daytime.  I will see my neurologist next week and I hope to dump the meds and try something else as they're not working.  I had two seizures today, and this rate is really unacceptable…

So there's this — a two brain fail day —

 

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Not exactly typical