My daughter’s pre-op update

In her own words from her post with typos!  

(I will add my experiences of these processes as the Parent-Of-Patients soon. I HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY.  It’s very hard to find time to write like I used to— I have been waiting for my smallest child to settle down and not find him on a ceiling fan.  This is being posted from the bathroom, with him.)

Anyway — her quick post from yesterday —

Update:

   About four months ago I made a huge decision that is going impact the rest of my life; I started to take part in the WLS program at Boston Children’s Hospital, which most of you know. In the beginning I had barely any idea of how any of this worked and if I would even be able to lose anything. What I didn’t know was the motivation that comes with having to meet with people, and having to have lost weight before the next monthly appointment to be able to stay/ move forward in the program. 

     At my first appointment with OWL (Optimal Weight loss for Life) which is the first step in the WLS program, I was really unsure how successful I would be in the month to come while she was explaining it. But, I went to my second appointment and I had lost 13lbs which was a HUGE accomplishment for me. After this appointment I was not only shocked at what I had done it motivated me to do more for my next appointment; at the third and final appointment with OWL I had lost 5lbs which is less than the first but still an accomplishment that I was content with, although I could have done more.

        Last month I had my first meeting with the WLS program; this is when it really set in that this was going to happen. At this appointment I met the team of doctors that I am going to be working with through out the next 6 months (if all goes as planned) this team includes a dietitian, social worker, Nurse Practitioner, Psychologist, and of course Surgeon. This first appointment with them went very well they approved me for the program and gave me goals and a cool binder that has all of the foods and drinks I should be eating and what I have to do to be able to do the surgery in the time frame that I would like to; all of this was to set me up for the month until my next appointment. At my next appointment I was unsure of how I did, I hadn’t weighed myself, I honestly thought I had gained; But I didn’t I lost 12lbs which really boosted my motivation and confidence levels because now I have lost a total of 30lbs which is absolutely crazy! I am currently waiting for my next appointment at the end of March where I am hoping to do even better than last time. I am very excited to see where the next few months take me and see what the progress is like so I can reach my end goal in the WLS program!

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Plus Size Prom Dress

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Shopping for a prom dress is never fun.  Nope.  Never.  No.  

At least that's the impression I have always had. 

I have been through three prom dress purchases with my own girls (and two of my own) — and I'll tell you — it would simply be a lot easier to slide into a size __ (…after trying on countless!) rather than having to dig through a vvveeerrrrrry limited number of plus-sized dresses and only getting to try on one or two.   All the girls in the dressing room are picking up size zeroes and twos and fours and some are in tears about needing to get the dresses altered to fit – because – they're just too big.  I am looking around at a sea of teenagers ALL. WEARING. THE. SAME. COLOR. (they always do this) and wonder why it's such a big deal.  (I know, because it's the PROM.  And YOU HAVE TO.  We all – mostly? – do it.)

After getting measured, we find that she's *exactly* a size __ and we ordered the dress she wanted out of the catalog.  It was a bit disheartening to think that the prom is this year – and she doesn't get the chance to do it next year in senior year when she might be post-surgery.  It would be kind of cool to slither into a smaller size, she knows that.  Someone will need to get married or something so we can all get fancied up in a year.  

SO ANYWAY.  We put $100 down, and have to pay the balance when it comes in.  Let's hope it fits!  She matches the EXACT MEASUREMENTS of the dress, sooooo……

 

 

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One month.

If everything goes as it should, the movers arrive in one month. 

One 53 foot long truck.  One day.  Five men.  All mine

Shut up. 

I asked for movers.  Mr. MM works often seven days a week (he is working right now, it's a seven day week – fourteen day week – 28 day?  I don't know?) and just, no.  We don't have that much stuff, but moving from a house with three flights of stairs to another with the same – is a lot of painful lifting and, no.  I don't have local friends.  Call me lazy if you'd like.  I've had enough head injury in the last year to say, HELL NAH I AIN'T DOING IT.

"Good luck getting help, too."  It's easier just to put the crazy cost of moving on a credit card, paying it off with the next bonus, and skipping the potential vacation next summer. (Yeah, we skipped it this year too, because Elliott.)

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If you have not bought or sold a house before, it can get quite expensive on either side.  Stuff pops up (either expected, like inspections, known problems….) or unexpectedly like things that you simply must have done for a buyer's mortgage to go through. (There's many rules and regulations based on the kind of buyer.)  We did not live here long enough or earn that much equity to really make out on the deal.  We put a lot of money into the house, and you don't usually get it back. 

In funner news!  Cleaning up!  Packing, a little?  And…

We have to eat up all the remaining fresh food and the kids are like, this is all that is left:

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Except I got the off-brand kind, and it's not EVEN THE SAME.

We have some serious problems over here.  I'll be blogging real quick because I need to make grocery money.

 


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At least someone’s eating right

Cows eat grass.  Babies eat grass.  It’s good for, fiber, right?  Fiber in, uh, this form, hurts my old cranky gastric bypass belly.  I get (excuses) bezoars (/excuses) and I eat toast instead.  I’m not suggesting that one goes and eats grass, but some things I see Dieters Eat isn’t much different than what this baby got in during his outside play yesterday.  😡  You don’t have to tell me to worry about “your baby eating gross that’s so gross do you know what might be in there?!”  Yes.  He’s baby number five.  A lot worse will be eaten.  Salad, anyone?

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Sharing a shell

Lots to catch up on, so I’ll start backwards.

We are buying a new-to-us house.

Which means we are selling our house. 

We were able to successfully find a buyer on the first day of showings and that meant that we had the Find A House Immediately.  Why are we doing this?!  Because, my parents sold their house (my childhood home) and moved in.  Our house isn’t large enough to fit myself, the husband, the five kids AND my parents.   We discussed doing just this a year or two ago — but then Elliott arrived (… which I still haven’t really discussed here on the blog?) and life has just been warp speed.

Sharing a shell

We had tossed around the idea of building an in-law apartment, or addition, but it just was not going to work out on this property.  So, sell the house – find another!  Easy enough! 

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For me:  A House Is Just A Shell.  You move shells as your life changes.  You – your family gets bigger, you get smaller. I see other people who get very attached to the material part of their homes, and want to drag it around with them – but?  Shake that shit off. 

I do not get that attached to my shell.  I like moving.  I see it as a fresh start, a new beginning.  Putting aside all the monetary costs involved,  $1000 deposit, $1000 home inspection, etc etc etc. moving can be really f – u – n. 

Right at the moment, we are nine people living in a house with one bath on the main floor and one kitchen and too many teenagers and a mobile baby and it can be A Bit Intense. 

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Everyone in this house likes their own space.  My kids don’t want to share bedrooms.  They have been sharing here, there, everywhere, just to make it work — and the baby hasn’t had a room anywhere, yet.  He still won’t in the new house.  He has been in my bed since day one. 

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I really can’t worry about that, I mean, there’s a garage?  (KIDDING.)  All I had asked for was a bedroom and a bathroom I could have access to without a queue at any given time.   SCORE.   And maybe a kitchen to roller skate in where I could line up 12 pizzas at a time for too many teenagers and guests.

We found one close to our current location, so that the kids can remain in college, 12th, 9th, 4th grade in their current schools.  It is quite nice – and with the basement in-law, it’s larger than ours.  If all goes well with inspections, we should be moved in by November 1.

-Send Xanax, groceries, cleaning ladies, moving men and anti-seizure vibes!  Also seeking product to review.

 

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And what then?

“In case you never get a second chance: don't be afraid!"

"And what if you do get a second chance?" "You take it!” 

― C. JoyBell C.

 

I am wondering if someone out there is holding a voo doo doll of me and hastily stabbing pins everywhere but in me. Quit it.  You're missing the target.  


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We are wrapping up the end of March over here with the third (..fourth?) major life-changing event of 2013.  

I thought that if I did not blog about the first (…as much as I have wanted to, I was told no and I have been SCREAMING on the inside!  Still.  AM.  :x) or second (more?) that these things would not occur in threes or more but they do.  I still haven't written, much at all actually.  

Because stop.

Currently – my father is sitting in the Beth Israel Deaconness Medical Center in Boston, MA awaiting a Triple Bypass Heart Surgery on Friday morning after two RED FLAG WARNINGS that landed him in the ER.  

11 years ago, he had a stent placed after a mild heart-attack.  These warnings (DO NOT IGNORE YOUR HEART, PEOPLE!) happened just after he lost his job and likely stress was of no help.


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What is a Triple Bypass?  

When one of the heart's arteries gets blocked and a person has a heart attack, one common procedure is to perform heart surgery and sew in a new piece of blood vessel to bridge over (bypass) the blockage. In many cases, the surgeon will fix not only the immediate problem, but also other arteries on the heart that are starting to look blocked. If the surgeon repairs three of the arteries, it is called a triple bypass. If four arteries are repaired, it's a quadruple bypass.

The positives?  

He's losing weight rapidly while in the hospital.  He had lost weight in a medically-supervised plan with his physician's office just prior to this event, but now he's busted into the 200's.

He's off the nicotine, and mentioned that the nurses kept trying to slip him nicotine-patches and he doesn't crave them.  It's been nearly a week, smoke-free!  This is a huge deal.  Hopefully after surgery and rehab he can maintain living smoke-free, he's done it before.

He can rock this.

He appreciates your well-wishes.


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Melissa McCarthy Is Not A Hippo. Weight Bias.

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I have been itching to see this movie since the preview showed just before I saw Les Miserables.  I adore Melissa McCarthy, and her body has ZERO to do with her sense of comedy.  The woman oozes funny.  

I do not particularly enjoy jokes that play on fat, body-size, or jokes written specifically to poke at the person of size.  I do appreciate a decent self-deprecating joke now and again as a person who has been there and lived the life.  

We get it, and it's okay that not every single thing is socially acceptable one hundred and ten percent of the time.  

But what is not okay are things like this jerk-wad of a reviewer calling Melissa McCarthy a hippo.

It is 2013:  we are not allowed to make jokes at the expense of a person's gender (among most EVERYTHING else…) but we can do it about their physical appearance?

Ridiculous.

To combat weight-stigma, the OAC needs YOU to help us BUST weight bias and stigma! Do you have an example of weight bias or stigma that you would like to share with the OAC?  If so, please email biasbusters@obesityaction.org.

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The Great Blog Loss of 2013

I got a comment via email yesterday and I couldn't respond to it because I have no internet connectivity.  

The commenter posted that my blog sucked lately and that Why Was That and did I plan on it sucking long time?  Well, that sounds … dirty.  Is that better?  Innuendos help make a blog better long time?

I apologize.

I will tell you again (which I started to do so in the previous-but-now-deleted-post-which-abruptly-ended-and-was-posted-when-I-didn't-know-it-was-posted-because-I-had-a-seizure-mid-posting… Please excuse the previous three sentence post which is NOW GONE.) that I have been without any connection to the outside world since the Blizzard of 2013 and that's been more than a week. 

Shout out to Verizon!


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  • I have NO landline PHONE.
  • I have NO INTERNET aside from what I see scrolling on Facebook and what loads on Teh Googles when it wants to via phone cell tower.
  • I forced Mr. MM to buy a cell-phone hot-spot so I had internet access at all inside the house.  It doesn't work so well.  But, here I am.  It's worked for 300 words so far.  *hits save again*
  • I have NO cable TV, nor satellite, nor much of a DVD collection.
  • Did I mention there are four children here?  O-o
  • This IS the mini-apocalypse.  Forbid what happens when we have REAL WEATHER here.  9-10 days of power loss and communication fails for snow?  REALLY, 2013?
  • We have had ONE HALF DAY of school in the last 10 days, and now my kids on on VACATION.
  • The day after the blizzard, we had a death in the family, my kids had their first wake experience last night and funeral today.  (All is well, they did wonderfully…)
  • Are we having fun yet? 
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I can only claim the tall one. LOL.

I don't know what is going on in the world other than what I hear on NPR while cleaning my kitchen because that is where the non-internet radio IS.  

For example, during a post-wake gathering last night, my children and I surrounded a television that was on the local news.  

We saw an EXPLOSION IN THE SKY and thought the world was ending. WHAT IS THIS?!  WHAT WAS GOING ON!?  It was just the sky over Russia imploding, and very old news, but new to us. 

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 We might be losing it.  

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Stress triggers eating problems – WHATSTRESS?!?!??!?!?!?


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Huffington Post - 

While the holidays typically come with a great deal of celebration and joy, they can also bring up feelings of loss, regret or depression. And that's the problem: no matter the emotional response, an emotional eater will often turn back to food.

"Many people use eating as a way to cope with difficult emotions, not only bad ones, but also happiness, excitement and celebration, for example," says Alexis Cona, a clinical psychologist in private practice and a researcher at New York Obesity Research Center.

Researchers believe that many emotional eaters turn to food to numb emotions that are too painful or difficult to process. As Cona explains, it can be a mindless cycle in which an emotional eater suddenly finds himself in front of the fridge, not quite knowing how he got there.

Family time during the holidays can be a particular challenge, as many disordered eating habits begin with poor boundaries between family members, Cona says. Preparing oneself for difficult and triggering interactions might be an important aspect of getting ready for the holidays.

What's more, during this season, food is more plentiful. Many people have favorite, traditional treats that they only eat during this time of year.

"There are all sorts of memories associated with family favorites — these foods are imbued with expectations," says Ellen Shuman, president of the Binge Eating Disorder Association and an emotional and binge eating recovery coach. "That feeling of deprivation can make an emotional eater feel like they have to eat their fill in that moment. They become forbidden foods — and that brings out the rebel in many emotional eaters."

Instead, Shuman counsels patients not to have once-a-year foods. If they love a certain dish, they should make it occasionally all year long to avoid that panicked feeling of scarcity.

So what's someone with a history of stress-based eating to do as the holidays loom large?

First of all, work on mindfulness. Cona asks her patients to check in with themselves before they eat anything. Do you feel physiologically hungry? Rate your hunger on a scale. And if you aren't actually hungry, but you want to eat, think about what you might be feeling and what underlying desire is at the bottom of the impulse to eat.

Cona also recommends practicing kindness to oneself, especially in the aftermath of an overindulgence. "Trying to find acceptance can be challenging, especially in a society that condemns us for having eaten this way; especially if our bodies don't look the way society says they should. But it's important not beat ourselves up over it. If this happens, try to learn from it. Don't shame yourself."

But Shuman adds, you may not be the only person you need to forgive. Letting go of painful family history could help prevent the emotional eater's cycle. "Keep in mind that you don't have to spend the holidays with your history with Mom — just with Mom in that moment."