Another post where I abuse the word SERIOUSLY. Banding without, the band?

Weight loss like a gastric band, without, the band? Seriously?

Announcing the poorly named: SLIMR. (Note to the creator: Y'know what banders sometimes call that nasty reflux feeling and food sliding back up the esophagus? Sliming. Mmmm.)

The graphic at the site makes me kinda want to do it, though:


What has happened inside HER pants?

The SLIMR-band™ is the sensation of your stomach being constricted by a gastric banding similar to a Lap-Band®.  This sensation results from a non-surgical procedure that uses hypnosis and the power of your mind. Since your sub-conscious mind regulates all of your body processes, it produces the sensation of constriction on your stomach.  You feel satiated with smaller quantities of food, you eat less and you easily make better food choices.  The result is that you steadily lose excess weight, reach your healthy weight wellness goal, and easily maintain a balanced nutrition thereafter.

So, you're saying I can go get hypnotized, and "feel" the "sensation of constriction" on my stomach?  Well, if it's THAT easy, sign. me. up.  A endoscopic revision surgery costs $10,000 CASH DOLLAHS, but this hypnotism, HAS to be cheaper, and There! I'm Fixed!

"Your stomach will be gently constricted."  Seriously?

And, it is!  In clinical trials, you too can get Hypno-banded for the low-low price of $1997, a deep discount of it's nearly $7000 price tag!  Get on this now, and you can be Slim With No Band!  *Generally not covered by insurance. It is an investment in your healthy life!"  O-o  You're not spending, you're investing in health?  Where have I heard THAT before?  Spending is spending.

“Excuse me?”

Pet peeve time (even if I've done it a million times myself) A WLS'er who makes a hugantic deal about food offered or served to them in a restaurant, and starts announcing their health conditions.

"Excuse me, do you know if this ______ has _______in it?  Because I had that there stomach surgery, you know, The Bypass, and I can't have sugar, because it will make me sick. And it will be your fault."

So. Don't order anything. Or. Order safe. Because, sending it back? HA.