Detour Lean Muscle Cookie Dough Caramel Crisp Lower Sugar


I ate 1/3 of this bar to see if it might blow my arsehole out.  I "saved" the remainder of the bar, took a photo or three of it, and posted it.  "How pretty!"

Just sayin'.  That's all.  Move along.

Looks. Really. Good. Doesn't It? 

I loaded this page later, after I ate the bar, and Mr. MM asked,

"WHAT IS THAT?!  Do you have another one?" 

N-O.  I do, but he ain't gettin' it.  He is already a walking gas bubble.

Okay.  So.  Without getting too detailed, I only ingested 1/3 of the bar, because having read the packaging, I knew that eating 33 carbs and 3 grams of sugar meant t-r-o-u-b-l-e down the intestines. 

When you remove sugar and add THAT MUCH sweet, there's got to be some laxation, and I do not mean re-laxation, baby.

The texture – cookie dough.  Yeah. That sucks.  Because, it's good.  Cookie dough, with crisps, dipped in chocolate and chips.  Nom.  But, the taste is not good.  It's protein-y and has that weird mildew taste that I referred to before. 

Maybe it's me.  I hope it's me.  But, MM doesn't 'need' 370 calories in a protein bar, but if this were tasty enough I would definitely eat it in two parts, because it is 32 grams of protein and has good brain-building fats.


"The road to powerful, lean muscle is full of obstacles. Achieving
results mean setting your own course. You know you need more whey
protein and the right level of Omega-3's. What are you waiting for? The
best ingredients. The right balance. The ultimate taste.

Every delicious bar is fully loaded with:

  • 32 grams of Detour's Quadra Whey Protein Blend™*
  • Only 3 grams of sugar
  • 2000mg of Omega-3's
  • 20 Vitamins and Minerals
  • OptiFlax Blend™**
  • 4 Layer Technology

Whey Protein Blend™ powers your workout with a full spectrum of high
quality whey protein designed to deliver peak nutrition and optimum

**OptiFlax™ is Detour's new proprietary formula of flax
derived essential fatty acids, taurine, L-Leucine and CLA which is
available exclusively in the Lean Muscle bar."


Yeah.   But.  33 carbs in a "lower sugar" protein bar?  It looks like it's maltitol and neotame as sweeteners:

Due to its slow absorption, excessive consumption can have laxative
effect and sometimes can cause gas and/or bloating. It is very easy for
food producers to use it in vast quantities, due to its similarity to
sugar, so consumers often end up ingesting far more than they could
most other sugar alcohols. This means that maltitol is particularly
associated with gastric issues.

I can't find literature about the effect of Neotame on gas – but apparently companies use very little of the stuff because it's potent.


  • Product – Detour Lean Muscle Lower Sugar Protein Bar
  • Via – GNC, the kid told me it was "DELICIOUS!!"
  • Price – I did get it BOGO.
  • Pros – 32 grams of protein, 3 grams of sugar, healthy oil blends, good vite punch…
  • Cons – I'll let you know within an hour, I'd bet.  33 grams of carbs in a low sugar bar, huge calorie hit, 370 calories, but this is a body-building bar…
  • Rating – (Probably for most) Non-pouchworthy MM.


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