excess arm skin

That time I shamefully admit I was lazy.

excess arm skin

December 2013
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February 2014
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Current

This is that moment where I put my tail between my legs and come to you and say it — because this is what I Need To See – Proof That A Thing Works?

I have a very literal type brain.  (More on that later this year.  I promise you. My next appointment is Valentine's Day.)

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Figure out where Beth's seizure focus is?

I must have proof of a thing in order to believe it.  I do not blindly follow anything without seeing results, documents, charts that show me "IF YOU DO X, Y will be yours."  This is why I am a hard "sell" and you rarely see reviews here anymore.  (More on that, coming, too.)

In 2012 I was in a regain pattern and found myself hitting a high weight that I could not imagine after RNY.

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Regain, 2012

I refused to allow it although I know realistically it is possible.  I've been there before.  And knowing that I need to eat food  – I realised I needed to do something different because obviously eating as much food as I want/need to and not moving my ass was no longer working.

I added a little bit of exercise — and I saw a little bit of endurance increase.  And I struggled to keep going, and keep at it and now I finally see body results.  

The scale is in solid maintenance mode.  I see range of up 5 lbs down 5 lbs up 5 lbs down lbs every single month.  But I guarantee my muscle mass is increasing.  I will get a new assessment done at some point to ensure this — and see because I am interested in knowing the percentage of change.

This is where those people who used to scream at me to MOVE MY ASS get to say, "WE TOLD YOU SO."  I did not listen.  I was (…somewhat, but not really) lazy.  I thought I could get away with just "eating okay" and being relatively active.  

Nope.  I am proof it (…sitting on your ass) doesn't work.  



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Running for beginners

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I do not run.  I am not a beginning runner.  I am not even a jogger.  I may be inclined to say that I am a skipper.  I don't understand that "runner's high" that runners describe when they get moving long-term and feel their endorphins push through – because I haven't gotten that yet.  I am a walker.  I can walk for miles and miles.  I almost never feel the urge to run.  How is that for honesty?
But.  I may or may not have told someone that I like the svelte look of a runner's body.   (And that maybe someday I could try?)  Runner's legs are the shit.  Not runny shit.  Runner's legs.  You know, all tight and muscley.  
I saw this plan online today and realized that I could probably, maybe, perhaps handle this plan.  I do not need to run a 5K, a half-marathon, or ever become a triathlete, but two or three solid minutes in a row of jogging without DYING the DEAD?  Might be nice.
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Apathy and failure

Recently when I saw a fresh weight loss and posted it, I was confronted with a commenter who asked me why I posted my body-weight.  It is a fair question and I do not challenge her asking it, because it's been asked of me many times when I have posted my actual weight-as-a-number.


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I will say that number-sharing is the norm (…or was?) in the weight loss surgery/bariatric community as a whole for as long as I have been a part of it — and that is at least 10-12 years that I have actively read and participated in emails, groups and chats.  I posted the question as a poll this morning on Facebook as well.  Go answer!  Come back.


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Back in the hey-day of message boards we would add a line of text to our signatures (..siggies!) to signify our –

  • HW (Highest Weight)
  • SW (Start Weight or Surgery Weight)
  • CW (Current Weight)
  • GW (Goal Weight)

They would look alot like this!

Beth 

HW – 320  SW – 298  CW – 151 – GW – 150

Don't judge the comic-sans.  

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I would go back to *my old posts circa 2003/2004 and show you, except I was banned from my message board back then, and my posts via BethLButterfly disappeared.  She posted in Comic Sans at times. Her demise is why MM exists.

Number or weight sharing is.  Was.  Always will be?  I would say that in general — most individuals that have bariatric surgery are often proud of every single pound lost, and want to wear their "pounds lost" as a badge of honor.  Some post ops are extraordinarily proud and not only wear the pounds lost, current weight, but will add things like "LBS GONE FOREVER!"  

Losing weight is no easy feat, and after bariatric surgery — it feels like victory. Why wouldn't someone want to own it — even just for a while?  I suppose when you've been 500, 400, 300, 250 lbs — wearing a newly slimmed down self is quite a change and being able to put that number out there to the universe — even just for a while is worth it.


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Now, for me.  This commenter wondered if my posting about my actual number was an obsession – let me clear it up here.  No.  I've always weighed myself.  


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Bariatric surgery and the life afterwards is ALL ABOUT NUMBERS.  Losing pounds, inches, and sometimes counting calories, measuring food, and exercise.  If you're a pre-op that doesn't want to 'hear that' – I am sorry – but it really, truly, is.

I absolutely understand that some people take these numbers to an extreme – and extremes are unhealthy at any level — and that is how we get into situations like: needing bariatric surgery.  Extreme caloric intake is unhealthy, an extreme sedentary lifestyle is unhealthy.  We require balance.  

It takes a very long time for some people to learn this:  example —->  ME.

While I have always "weighed-in,"  I am also The Queen Of Avoidance, and as soon as I see the scale move up – I remove the scale.  (That's magic, if I can't see my regain, no one else can.  That is, until I SEE THE PHOTO EVIDENCE MYSELF AND SCREAM.  *See below.)  


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So what has changed?  I removed myself from the effects of negative influences — changed my views on some things and … GASP …

I added ACCOUNTABILITY to my daily life.  I now weigh myself near-daily, or at LEAST weekly.  I check-in my food nearly every single day on a journal.  

Is that obsessive?  No.  Why?  Because before — not paying attention led to weight regain.  Surrounding myself by people with negative and apathetic views on life – brought me down.

Apathy causes failure.  


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Yes, I am fully aware I am a Bariatric Bad Girl – but maybe now you understand – BAD DOES NOT EQUATE "BAD," or breaking rules, or doing things WRONG.  

It's BAD-ASS.  (Help us help, BTW.)

*June 2012 – April 2013


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But, recently I started paying attention – and seeing results:


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My brain likes to see results, black and white, literal, on paper, in lines, to show me that if I DO X – Y WILL HAPPEN.


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Because it works.  (Shut up Weight Watchers.)  And my little brain likes proof.   


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If I can see tangible results I will keep going – I will keep doing a thing if I can see a result.  I do not like to work for "free – " you see.  Does that make sense?  Here's an example, a very simple one.  I started going to the gym and doing basic exercise (…long walks on the treadmill and seated elliptical) about a month ago (…I'll check back in my Facebook check ins) and I noticed a tangible result the night before last.  My leg muscles are coming back.  This is enough to create a positive reaction to keep me motivated.  

It's not about obsessing about a number.  I don't have a goal.  

Octane xR6 Series Recumbent Elliptical Machine

Dear Octane People, Thanks for making this. This product works for me.  I am able to use this pretty effortlessly after using the treadmill for an hour — and I am NOT complaining yet.  

<3, The new girl at the gym with excess skin who does not enjoy flopping it all around.