All the weight I didn’t lose

All the weight I didn’t lose - from 

"I am the “after” side of surgery, having lost more than 250 pounds. No one gets this, at least not without an explanation, because I still weigh over 200 pounds, and the weight loss fable is supposed to end when you’re thin, not when you’re merely “an average fat American.”

Yes, some of us do "get it."  

This is a powerful article a friend of mine who happens to be a special kind of "after"  (which is not the kind of " air quotes" that indicate failure, but that she has SHIT TO DEAL WITH and y'all need to stop judging a person at first glance, you know?) posted in my BBGC support group.   Thank you, Sarah.  I GET IT.  Some of us DO.  Rawr.  

Please read it.  Please open your mind to all "afters," and stop the WLS shaming.  

Jillian Michaels WLS is FLAT-OUT DANGEROUS.

“This is a really tricky question because there are a lot of people who feel that they couldn't have done it without these surgeries,” Jillian says.

“But I couldn’t disagree more. I don’t want to take away from the fact that there are people who have lost a good amount of weight from these surgeries, but that said, if you’re somebody who’s on the fence about it, it’s dangerous. Flat-out dangerous. Completely, 100-percent dangerous.”

Shit.  I'm on that fence.  WHAT DO I DO NOW?!

Jillian.  Must you say things like this?


Eight Years Post Op – And I may NEVER QUIT.




Eight years post op

Eight years ago today I had roux en y gastric bypass surgery.   Do not say it.  I already made that clear in my previous post.

Since then it’s been a whirlwind of ups and downs — but mostly — it’s been good.  I often refer to my life as a country song.  Because it is.  

But you know what?  Regardless of the roller coaster of life —


I hate the term surgiversary… Eight years post op part 1.

…with an undying passion.

And you know what?  Today is my eight year "surgiversary."    And, yes… I'm waiting for my party.  *sits quietly in wait*  I'll be here when you're ready.  I'd like the same as every other celebration:  Josh Turner, someone to drive me around and Dark Chocolate Truffles.  KTHANXBAI.



I am not about to write a fluff post about my "Years Of Success," or how "You Too Can Be Like Me!" fitting into size eight size twelve jeans and being super fabulous, still.  

I have not taken any courses on Being A Life Coach, Nutrition Coach or even as a Support Group Leader.  I haven't become a pro post op even if I'm working on year nine or ten of just that.

I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up, sorry.  If I have proven anything — it's that I am who I am — love me or hate me — I'm still here.   Sure, I have eight years of quasi-success under my pannus, but I am not there yet.  (Eww, BETH….?!)  

I told you this LAST YEAR, (or the year before, or before… or…) at my seven year anniversary, in a post that is missing in action someplace.  You will note the angsty tone of last Spring's postings, perhaps this is why they are missing.  I don't know.  I *will, however, write about The Year That Should Have Failed Me in a separate post.  Watch for it later today.

It's just that I woke up — considered the day — and started thinking about the word — SURGIVERSARY.  

If you've been following my blog or 4209548 Facebook pages (BTW – if you ARE NOT on Facebook, you are missing out on MOST OF WHAT I WRITE MOST OF THE TIME, I am seriously socially media sarcastic) for any length of time you would know that I loathe that word — among other things.  

 There are certain words and phrases that make their rounds out there in the weight loss surgery land that make my (and some of your…) skin crawl.  In fact, some of these phrases are so overused they no longer hold power and unfortunately end up having a negative connotation for many of us —

  • #1 – TOOL.  (Makes me take an ice pick to the eye.)
  • #2 – Surgiversary. 



I asked some of my Bariatric Bad Girls Club friends this morning what grinds their nerves — of the words and phrases we use in this community.  I got 200+ comments in an hour.

We are, if not anything else, prolific.

Keep in mind that many of the BBG are long-term post ops and opinions are like interchangeable assholes, okay? I did not say WE are assholes, I said that opinions are like… well, you get it.   What you feel today — may very well change later on.   It may feel REALLY AWESOME TO YOU to say "____ pounds gone forever!!" but for many of us who are years and years post op?  It's like nails on a chalkboard.  Your pounds are not gone forever.  

I guess that is to say, you have to live it to understand, nothing in life is forever and it's not Debbie Downer MM time over here, it's just realistic.

Some of the 200+ comments from this morning —

  • I know I cringe whenever I read "xx pounds forever lost" as if it weren't hard life time work. Losing half a person is commendable, but remaining estranged is a day-to-day battle.
  • there are no serious side effects if you follow your dr's plan
  • "Pounds lost for-ever!"
  • I hate the term "loser's bench". I can only imagine how big that damned bench has to be to hold all the folks on it that have had WLS.
  • journey
  • "Believe!"
  • FIVE DAY ——- TEST……freaking wls crash diet
  • "Onederland!"
  • "Can you eat that?"
  • "You're getting too thin…"
  • "Never" My nutritionists used that word all the time. Not realistic.
  • Any cutsie name/nickname for pouch
  •  Any sentence that starts out with I will NEVER break any rules, drink with a straw, eat bread, miss a vitamin, eat sugar, touch white carbs or whatever. Surgery didn't take the human out of us!
  • I don't even call mine a "pouch". It a stomach. It may be a different size than an unaltered one but I don't call my intestines anything different just because they are rerouted.
  • "Nothing tastes/feels as good as Skinny feels"
  • And about 150 more… because WOW WE COULD FILL A BOOK WITH THESE THINGS.

We latch on to these words and phrases and ideas  in the early stages of learning about weight loss surgery and in our early recovery stages and think they hold magical powers. 

Did you use some of those terms?  Do you still?  Do some of them make your teeth itch?  Do others that haven't been mentioned?  (I know there are … heck the name of my business is a teeth-itching word to some of you.  LOL.)

I know I used the term "gone forever" to describe my early weight loss to my lowest weight, because At The Time, I was SO DAMNED SURE that I'd "NEVER AGAIN" (there's another one!) "LET MYSELF GO" (and another…) 

Myself?  I was SO sure that weight loss surgery was a "tool" to "cure" my obesity "forever."  

So. sure.  Cocky, even.  Let's zoom back to 2003 and discuss this all over again.  I was an asshole.  I was NEVER going to regain an ounce.  I would be the most successful of successes.

I was wrong.  (Yes, I've been successful in the face of some cruddy situations,  go me, where's my party?  However. )

Weight loss surgery is only a temporary opportunity providing the time and physical limits on your GUT  in order to lose the excess weight.  It does NOTHING to help where it truly matters in the long term — inside your brain.  

This is where I am now — at eight years post op to the day — living, learning, watching, reading and understanding in this community, just now really realizing that long-term success is about your brain, not your gut, and has NOTHING to do with "tools, rules, never agains, pouch-tests, diets, or surgiversaries."

So there.  A very merry unbirthday, times eight.  Off we go.

Today – Should teens have weight loss surgery?

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This is a bit controversial, because while a third of the population is overweight or obese, the attitude until now has been kids need to cut the junk food and exercise more. but some doctors now say weight loss surgery is the best way to save obese kids from a life of potentially deadly diseases. early morning at nationwide children's hospital in Columbus, Ohio, and 17-year-old Megan Huffman is preparing for surgery.

Teenagers having weight loss surgery.  It's becoming more and more mainstream.  

While I am always a little very torn about children having bariatric surgery, I am also the parent of an overweight 14, 13, 10 and 5 year old.  I am married to a man who was 375 lbs before gastric bypass surgery.  I was 320 lbs pre-operatively.  His mom was pushing 400 lbs also before gastric bypass surgery, my dad 350 lbs, his sisters well over 300 lbs, one also post op.  

It is what it is.

I know it's in our future for someone — at some point.  

Boiled Egg - Crossection

Obvious Cooking Lessons – How To Hard Boil Eggs!

Boiled Egg - Crossection(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Eggs are often a staple of a post bariatric surgery diet for those who can tolerate them. Sometimes eggs can be tricky and not your friend, but when they are?  Eat up.  

Eggs provide lots of nutrition and protein for about 70 calories each.  They're also super-filling, which is a bonus after weight loss surgery.  

Eggs are one of the least expensive sources of protein at about 20 cents a piece, and one egg can easily fill (or overfill) a gastric bypass belly. 

You would be surprised (or not) at the fact that many people enjoy a good hard-boiled egg, but do not know how to cook one.  You can even find pre-cooked and shelled hard-boiled eggs in the refrigerated section at the grocery store!

There's no fun in those, if you're planning to dye them for Easter this weekend however.  

  1. PLACE eggs in saucepan large enough to hold them in single layer. ADD cold water to cover eggs by 1 inch. HEAT over high heat just to boiling. REMOVE from burner. COVER pan.
  2. LET EGGS STAND in hot water about 12 minutes for large eggs (9 minutes for medium eggs; 15 minutes for extra large).
  3. DRAIN immediately and serve warm. OR, cool completely under cold running water or in bowl of ice water, then REFRIGERATE.
  4. Cooling the eggs immediately avoids the green ring around the yolk, too.

How do you like your hard-boiled eggs?

the real skinny

Casting for The Real Skinny – TLC


the real skinny
THE REAL SKINNY  Casting Call –
Has your weight-loss journey lead to excess skin?  (Um.  Yes.)

Do you find it affecting your activity, work, and relationships?  (We aren't discussing it.)

If you've experienced extreme weight loss, have consulted and selected a doctor for reconstructive surgery, and would like to be considered for our program, please send us a short description of your experience and the impact it has on your daily life to
Please make sure to include your name, age, city of residence, a before and after photo, and a phone number or email where you can be reached for further questions.
I've asked if the "consulted and selected" a surgeon bit is required, because I imagine many of us do NOT have a surgeon prepared — since plastics are out of reach to begin with.  I'll let you know if I hear anything.